Have You Ever Taken Something You Weren't Supposed To?

The other day I accidentally walked out of a store wearing the shirt I tried on and didn’t pay for. I only realized after I got home but I went back later and paid for it. I’m sure we have all done something similar. I have left stores numerous times after forgetting to pay (which is pretty stupid actually) but I always go back and pay.

There are countless things I have taken without realizing it. But the question entails, what have I purposefully taken? In that case…

It all began when I was in the first grade…Mrs. Henry’s class (cue dreamy harp music and transitioning ripples across your imaginary TV screen).

  We were practicing counting. Our task was to take an empty paper towel roll and tape sheets of paper to it that we wrote numbers on. That way when you unrolled your “paper towels” this huge roll of numbered paper would unroll. Ultimately, the bigger the fake paper towel roll, the more numbers you managed to write down. Grace Delancy. She was the smartest girl in the class. She had the most perfectly straight, silky hair and was always the first student to raise her hand. She wore pink bows and buckle shoes; boy, was I jealous of her. And, of course, Grace Delancy counted all the way up to one thousand on her number scroll

Here comes the confession…

After school one day, my devious first-grader self snuck into the classroom and wrote my name on her project. I know I was just a first grader but it is honestly hard to even spit out these words because I am genuinely so embarrassed. I threw my measly roll of thirty into the trash to hide the evidence. Not only that but I then proceeded to tell Grace the next day that she must have lost hers. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?!

The even more pathetic thing, I never admitted to it and never got caught. That is by far the meanest thing I have ever done in my life. She probably worked so hard on it too. 

After Mrs. Henry graded the assignment and I got one-hundred percent I went home crying because I felt so guilty. I was so ashamed I never even told my mom (and I tell her everything). To this day, I don’t think I have ever told anyone that because I was so ashamed. 

Never wanting to feel the weight of guilt again, I couldn’t so even glimpse at another student’s homework or do anything that made me feel emotions remotely related. I was so afraid of feeling ashamed.

This experience actually shaped a lot of who I am today. Now, I am a firm believer that guilt is just about the worst feeling out there and I try to be intentional with all of my actions. I want to live a life free of shame. I practice making choices that I am proud of. If the world were to discover everything about me I wouldn’t want to be ashamed. I like being an open book.

Word of advice, don’t cheat, don’t lie, don’t steal. As cheesy as it sounds, there is nothing worth the price of guilt.

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